ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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