Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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