no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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