"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
