I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
