Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
