Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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