His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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