it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
