wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
