You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
