Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
