I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize