i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize