I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize