I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
