if you like me you must not know who I am
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
