I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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