it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize