Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
