I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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