you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
