I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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