FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize