Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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