I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
