i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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