mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
