Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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