the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
