yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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