Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
