it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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