She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
