To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
