sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize