sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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