we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
