Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
