Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
