i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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