I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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