that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
