4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
