Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
