Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
