My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
