I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize