Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
