does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
