dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
