The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
