On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize