the new term for farting is butt boxing.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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