I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
