my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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