Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
