I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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