So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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