I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
